january 2005

The Winter tale, Thinking of Orchard Beach. By Jerry Vilhotti©
 Johnny still could hum those melodies but one song he could not remember its title. The haunting melody that if he knew its name would have convinced him that he was truly loved by his father for himself and not due to the fact all his siblings had resented him saying he stole their father's love from them. This was probably why their father did tell everyone Johnny was his favorite to protect him from being thrown off the roof of their five-story building by his two sisters and two brothers. He loved heights but then in the dream he was reminded of the fear he felt, when alone on the roof, that his siblings might throw him off because they felt he had stolen their father's love from them.  It was the landing the dream told him and not the height he was trapped inside while hugging the sides of buildings that he was afraid of the most.  From one tall building he could see the roof of his old building where he and his father had often stood together looking out at the city and even at night when lights came on making darkness bright and then all lights went out as thick beams of light probed the dark skies. While there on the roof, he told his father, he could smell the sea breeze from Orchard Beach where he once found a sea shell.  He had carried the ocean with him for days and then his siblings found the shell and three of them pretended to hold it in their hands all at once and then with one great heave they threw it out of the fifth floor apartment window to shatter into fragments far below in the courtyard.  They told him as he held back his tears — it was just a fucking sea shell. END  10-25-04


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Mamasu kept calling Leny One N a thief who had inherited his father's gene never forgetting how he and my polio afflicted brother Tom had stolen her sewing machine ... minding the boys the day after the stealing and finding her sewing machine hidden under an old coat in the corner of the fire escape - she would make sure no more robbing would occur again on her watch while her daughter went to work at the glove factory making gloves for five fingers; having to do so because our father was away frolicking on the sands of Orchard Beach; stealing the hearts of pretty women and then falling into their smiles. Mamasu tied Leny and Tom to the bedposts; tying the ropes so tightly, they left large burnt marks on their arms and legs.
"Why did you do this?" their mother asked - trying to keep her voice under control as her fingers trembled over the wounds; afraid such a sight would break her mind again as it did the night she saw her husband deep inside a naked woman in their parlor and not only had that sight smashed her mind but her body began hemorrhaging Tom whom she was carrying deep inside.
Tom began to cry but Leny remained stoically silent; to show he hadn't been afraid. It was Leny with his mighty hugs all the three months of her Bellevue Hospital stay that had helped put all the broken pieces of her mind back together again.
"Because Mussolini told parents who are supposed to protect and love their children to give him their sons and he would make all the trains run on time going back to Roman Times!" Mamasu said.
"Mamasu, here comes the big fucking jerk!" six year old Leny said tormenting the sixty-five year old.
She scowled as she ran after him; attempting to get his hair and pull every strand out. "You thief, come here and I'll teach you to swim in sand!"
Leny escaped and went to steal candy at the Arthur Avenue candy store while the owner was busy in the back room with a woman the syndicate had sent him for the afternoon as a reward for collecting bets from poor people who would contribute their children to die in meaningless insane wars after losing ....  

END   12-3-04